The Best Tool for Escaping the Blues

It happens to all of us from time to time. For some, it happens more than most.

Vitality disappears, leaving behind a gloomy state devoid of meaning. Favorite forms of distraction seem vain and pointless. It can be hard to know what to do. So we wallow in a feeling that seems inescapable.

But I don’t want to offer the typical answers that a Google search gives back because we’ve heard it all before:

• Get outside. Engage in physical activity you enjoy.
• Go hang out with people that give you good vibes.
• Eat the right foods.
• Call a friend.
• Treat yourself.
• Pursue a hobby.

Don’t get me wrong. These are all good things to do, and we should do them if we can.

I appreciate the value of a friend.

I agree that mental states are enhanced by physical activity. There is a vital mind-body connection that is ignored to our detriment. Fresh air is wonderful. And I have had my whole day turned around by a simple walk in the park.

And pursuing an interest directs focus in a healthy way.

All these tips get my personal endorsement any day of the week.

But sometimes, we need to dig deeper.

What I’m about to give you is my most important tool for personal restoration. And it’s the most effective way I’ve found to begin addressing the obstacles that stand in the way of flourishing. I have been led countless times to deeper clarity, renewed focus, and a greater understanding of myself.

Let’s begin.

Use stream-of-consciousness writing to take an honest inventory of everything inside you.

A personal journal or diary is going to be your best friend here. Sometimes I use a simple legal pad and a pen. Sometimes I use a personal diary app called Day One that I have on my phone. Sometimes I open up Google Docs and start typing.

It doesn’t really matter how you do it. You don’t need to be a good writer. But you do need to write.

Just write whatever is on your mind. Write what you feel you need to write. But write.

Prompts aren’t even necessary.

What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What has your attention? Where are your thoughts going? What has you worried, angry, or afraid?

What are your hopes and dreams? What’s holding you back right now?

You get the idea. Just write. And get everything out on the page.

The Benefits

Why write?

Writing externalizes everything that is buried deep within you. Trust me. You don’t know what you actually think until you start writing it down. When our thoughts and feelings don’t have an outlet, they get stuck inside and can wreak havoc if not externally expressed.

External expression is part of the value of having a friend as a sounding board. But it’s hard to share everything with a friend. Being vulnerable is not easy. It doesn’t come natural to share feelings of shame, guilt, existential angst, frustration, or loneliness. While being vulnerable is not easy, getting lost or stuck in the maze of thoughts arising from our most vulnerable feelings is very easy.

Vulnerabilities shouldn’t be shared indiscriminately with anyone. Oversharers, please beware.

People keep deeply personal thoughts and feelings inside for very good reasons. And if you do share your inner world with someone, they should be worthy of your trust and confidence. Divulging personal information to the wrong person could lead to being hurt, judged, annoyed, or ostracized.

Oversharing can also lead to negative social repercussions. I don’t mind when people share what’s really on their minds. It doesn’t frighten me. I can take it. But not everyone is cut from the same cloth. Some people don’t know what to do when someone shares something deeply personal, and they shrink back. When sharing with the right person, a deeper and more meaningful connection can form.

The point: we need to be careful with what we share and who we share it with.

But guess what?

We don’t need to worry about safeguards when we are writing for ourselves. There is no other intended audience–just us. We have the freedom to be radically honest. We can say whatever we want. Our trapped feelings and thoughts go onto the page. And we can see them for what they are. And maybe they’re not so bad or so scary.

Do you want to know what else writing out our thoughts and feelings can do?

Writing helps us gain perspective we didn’t have before. Externalizing thoughts and feelings onto the page allows us to look at them for the first time. We have the golden opportunity to stand outside of our own thinking. From this vantage point, a clearer picture emerges. And we can be friends to ourselves.

You might look at what you write and say, “Is that all you’re worried about?”

Or, “It seems this is what you need to do.”

Or “Everything should be fine.”

Sometimes all it takes is getting everything out on paper (or on-screen). And before you know it, you’re shining a light on a very dark place, and the world can make sense again.